Let's just do a quick update -

I think I need to start coming to terms with the fact that I just might be one of those "women" (it's weird to put myself in that category, it makes me feel really 'Adult') whose body ... well, just doesn't like being pregnant. Let's ignore the horrific morning sickness that was felt as though it was never going to end, and just focus on the newest symptoms.
Numb fingers and aching wrists - thank you water retention for flaring up my carpal tunnel. Now when I wake up in the morning, you wont have to worry about me being able to turn a door knob without wincing in pain, or being able to do the simplest of tasks, like say .. grabbing a straw. You never realize how much you rely on the sense of "touch" until your index finger and middle finger on both hands completely lose it.
Burning skin - Baby Benjamin loves me OH SO MUCH, that he is going to constantly push on ONE nerve that causes a patch of skin to feel as though it's on fire. So 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week until he comes into this world, I'll be greeted with another WARM (pun INTENDED) welcome :) ... grr.
Bed Rest - I am also one of the "women" who have a MUCH thinner cervix than most. Normal cervix's are about 3 cm thick, mine happens to be 1.5 or smaller (we'll know exactly at my next ultra sound appointment). Which means, as the baby puts on weight my bed rest will get stricter because he'll start to more more pressure and thus increasing the risk of my cervix starting to dilate. Which makes me worry more about the next issue ..
Gestational Diabetes. This is by far the scariest to me. Since G.D can cause higher birth weights it scares me that I will deliver much earlier than I should because his weight will start putting pressure on my cervix sooner than we think. And the thought of having a c - section scares me to death. Not to mention, the stress of making sure I am eating the right amount of ... everything, to ensure a healthy baby.

And thats just the medical stuff. I have a whole list of emotional issues going on too.
Like the fact Travis doesn't want to be with me, and he's avoiding even talking to me. Which just makes this whole pregnancy SO much easier. :/
I'm trying to continue to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, I'm just still trying to find out what the reason for all of this is.
I'm sure it will all make sense in the end, I'm just hoping for a glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel. :)

Christmas Time!

I've decided on a name!!
Benjamin Reid Blair.
We've decided to go with my last name, after talking with Travis about it extensively, he said that he always hated growing up with a different last name than his mom and felt like an outcast .. and since our relationship is sort of in limbo, we've decided that using my last name is the best decision. If things change, and things get more "fairy tale", then we can always change Baby B's last name to Wood.
As of right now the plan is - have the baby here in Orange County, since I love love love Dr. Rakshani, and when B is about 1 week or 2 old we'll head on up to my Mom's place, stay until I feel comfortable flying with a baby alone - and off to Ohio we go.
We'll be close enough to Arkansas that Trav can come visit, and we'll be with amazing family and a lot of hands on help which will be nice.
Thank God for Susan and Sally.
Oh - I'm on bedrest .. awesome lol and have almost every strange symptom of pregnancy that NO ONE tells you about. I have sweaty hands, "pregnancy carpal tunnel", burning skin, tingling fingers (its goes along with carpal tunnel) and the strange urge to smell things. I dont really crave anything .. except smells. Oh and milk. lol
Tomorrow we're heading over to Jo's in laws for Christmas eve so that should be fun. And in January I'm supposed to go to the Ellen show with Ron, Nikkol and Robyn - I'm SUPER excited.

I miss Travis terribly, and I really hope that he is able to come out for the delivery. I know he is having issues with having another baby and everything else .. which I understand - i HATE it but i understand it. But I hope he is able to come out for ME. He says he will try, so fingers crossed he is able to make it.

Well I said I'd post the newest ultra sound pictures so - here they are.. they are from 23 wks and 6 days - and I'm 28 wks and 3 days now, I'm supposed to go back for another ultra sound first week of January I think, so I'll post those when I get them too.

Update

Well - a quick update.
I'm in California while Travis is in Arkansas. We decided that him being in Arkansas and my being with my friends would be less stressful, and would ultimately help our relationship as opposed to ruining it.
I know that this is the best for us right now, but it doesnt make it any easier. I'm miserable without him and its only been 5 days.
I'm pregnant, hormonal, and I was already extremely emotional before I got pregnant. I need constant reassurance that he still loves me and misses me. I'm like an annoying new puppy and I cant help it.
I'm hoping that once it gets closer to the holidays it will get easier. You'd think it would be the exact opposite, but I'm hoping that because holidays seem to come up so quickly, it will help me.

Basically - thats all thats new. lol
Baby is still good. I'll post new ultra sound pics soon. :)

Ticker

One to see the size -


Funny Dev. Facts -


More facts -

Oh insomnia

Your name?
Diana

Fathers name?
Travis

Are you still with him?
yes

Were you trying to get pregnant?
No, but we definitely weren't using the right precautions to insure that we didn't either.

When you found out

When did you find out?
July 7(?) 2010

Were did you find out?
at home

How far along were you?
about 5 weeks

What was your reaction?
Scared

Who was the first person you told?
Stacey, I panicked and had just gotten off the phone with her telling her that I was going to take the test, so calling her was reaction.

How did you tell the father?
I had closed the bedroom door, and forgot to lock it, and he came in when the test was on the counter. So I just said "umm... so i'm pregnant..."

What was his reaction?
Not thrilled

All about your pregnancy

When is your due date?
March 8, 2011

Did you have any morning sickness?
Yessss, it was terrible.

What are your fears?
losing the baby, a hairy baby, pooping during delivery (i know.. such a dumb thing to worry about), the cord getting wrapped around the baby's neck, him not coming out a healthy beautiful baby boy.

What are you most happy about?
I just felt him kick. ;)

Did you want a boy or girl?
I wanted a girl but a boy is great too. :)

What did the father want boy or girl?
Neither... but preferably a girl

Do you know what your having?
Boy

Do you have a name picked out?
Asher - I think. It's the only name I've liked for longer than a few days.

How much weight have you gained?
The last time I was at the docs I was 18 wks, and I hadnt gained any. But I doubt thats still the case.

Have you felt the baby move?
yes! :)

When you have the baby

Are you keeping the baby?
yes, and trust me ... i weighed every other option. This is the one I am confidant in saying I AM GOING TO DO. :)

Do you plan on a natural or medicated birth?
MEDICATED!!! No reason to not take advantage of our advanced medical advances lol.

Are you scared about labor?
Yessss!!!

What do you think will be the worst part of labor?
Pain. And I really dont want everyone in the room staring at my vag LOL.

Have you taken any classes?
No.

Who will be in the delivery room?
I'm not sure yet. Doctors .. for sure lol. And I'm assuming Travis? And I want people there, and hanging out up until ... but as far as when it comes time for me to .. ya know, start the show, I dont know?

Are you having the birth videotaped?
Noooo wwaaay.

Do you think you will cry when you see the baby for the first time?
Of course.

What do you think the fathers reaction to the baby will be?
Excited, I'm sure.

How do you think family and friends will feel?
Thrilled!


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Kick off! ... maybe?

I'm 90% sure I just felt the baby kick.
I haven't felt any butterflies/quickening the past couple days and was starting to get worried. So I came out to the living room and told Trav that we needed to get some Orange Juice in the morning. Apparently orange juice is one of the things that will make a baby move, same with ice water and caffeine. But since it was late .. 12:20 or so I d to try ice water. So I drink some and go lay down, staying as still as possible, and praying "please let me feel something.. anything, so I know all is well in there" and then i felt like a pop feeling, this is where it sounds weird lol, but it felt like ... i don't know how to explain it ... it was as if the pop feeling had an echo LOL.

So i felt it, and my jaw dropped, so i waited ... and again... so i start saying to myself "there's no way, this is because I'm wanting to feel something", so i like pushed my tummy a little... and waited ... then again.


Like I've said before, I've felt the whole quickening, the popcorn popping sensation and even "gas bubbles" ... this was NOTHING like I've ever felt before.
I'm really excited!!! I hope it was. <3

22 weeks (well.. in 4 days)

Not much new to report, still no kicking, which I'm kind of upset about. I'm really excited to feel him kick, I think that's gonna be the thing that makes it feel real. I mean seeing him on the ultrasound was BEYOND incredible (I'm surprised I didnt cry) ... but I think feeling him kick will be the thing that like sets it over the edge.
My biggest complaint as of lately has been the heartburn. I read that if you have a lot of heartburn it can mean that the baby is going to have a ton of hair. I sincerely hope that is not the case haha. I do not want a baby with a full head of hair, to me it looks like a total Benjamin Button thing ... a small old man with a toupee. :)

We're still moving to Arkansas, the plane tickets are bought for the 18th, which is in 2 weeks and 5 days. I'm trying to stay on top of things and get everything packed and ready to go. I wish I could put Caleb & Colin in my suitcase and take them with lol.
But Danielle was just saying how amazing Colin is doing in school ... he's in "regular" preschool more than 50% of the day and completed all of his "goals" for the YEAR!
Caleb is doing good, from what I know. Danielle told Travis about Caleb, so I had to get the information from him .. so its like all watered down by the time it gets back to me lol. But again, I heard he was doing good, having problems staying awake in class though. And he had a meltdown on his way to school the other day, so I assume the docs are going to wind up upping his meds back to what they were originally at which was 2 pills or 10 mg a day. It breaks my heart that he has to take meds in the first place, but it honestly doesnt "change" him. We just get to enjoy happy Caleb. He still has "regular" 7 yr old issues, like with bed time, picking up toys and bath time, but thats it. Ohhh and HAIRCUTS. I wish we could do something about his fear of haircuts. Trav and I want to try and get one last one in before we head off to Arkansas, otherwise the next time we see him his hair will probably be down his back haha.

Well I'm off to get Chinese food (YUM). I'll try and update this more often.

BIG update

K - so a lot has happened. I have stopped puking!(knock on wood) I'm 19 wks and 5 days, a BOY, and everyone who want to know, knows! lol
I feel a lot of quickening happening, not so much kicking, YET. But hopefully soon, because this quickening thing is not as pleasant as "they" made it seem. It doesn't hurt, its just more annoying. I also feel a LOT of streching happening, again, I wish I was told about this before hand. This is probably the mos unpleasant part of pregnancy I have experianced yet.
FYI: Morning Sickness is not classified as unpleasant, its classified in THE WORST THING EVER lol
The palms of my hands sweat, which is .... random? And apparently because of the increase of the hormones.
I havent had any "weird" cravings, or cravings for that matter. Well I mean I crave things, but not anymore then I did before I got pregnant.
I've been trying to think of names, and so far I have
Bryce Alexander & Asher Ryan. I dont know .. I like them both, but picking a name for someone to be called for the rest of their life is a LOT more stressful then people lead me to believe! LOL
I'm becoming more and more anxious about giving birth, even though I have a while to go. I'm petrified, and every day I just come up with more things to be nervous about. haha.

In other news Trav and I are moving to Arkansas, to live with his mom and get on our feet before the bambino comes.
Hopefully it wont take too long for Danielle and the boys to come out too. I think she going to wait until the end of the school year so it wont be as crazy to get them situated. I'm going to miss Caleb and Colin so much :(.
But we have to move, otherwise we'll be living in a cardboard box.

I think thats all I have for now, I'm gonna see if I can upload the ultrasound pics and a belly pic to go along with this blog, but I'm not that skilled with "blogger" so we'll see how it goes.

And so it's begun (really gross post)

I've officially started the throwing up phase. Which wouldn't be that bad, since it's what you expect when you're pregnant, but I am a TERRIBLE "thrower upper". I'm loud, I projectile vomit - it's all types of bad.
It's only about once a day, but it's enough. The thing about me is, no matter how close or far from the toilet I am, because I throw up so hard, it ALWAYS splashes, so now I'm caught in this terrible/disgusting cycle I throw up, it splashes on my face so now I'm puking more which isn't helping the backlash ... it's terrible.
I've always been a puker, so I don't mind it, I mean I do, but I like to think I take it like a champ, I know when I'm going to so I have my routine down, I get my glass of water, tie my hair back, make sure I pee right before (gross lol I know, but hey... it happens ... trust me) do what I gotta do and I'm back to doing whatever I was before.
I'm also pretty aware of how things are gonna taste coming back up ... popcorn for example ... tastes the exact same coming up as it does going down, it'll scratch up your throat, but the taste isn't bad. Pink lemonade - terrible. Coke/Pepsi - terrible. Now today was something new. I don't normally eat chorizo, once I learned what it was I've never had an urge to eat stomach lining and pork lymph nodes ... thanks, but no thanks. Today however, being as broke as we are, I didn't really have a choice, it was chorizo or .. nothing basically. So I had some and it wasn't terrible (good job Trav) however.. coming up... it was probably one of the worst.
1. it was just as spicy the second time around, and its one of those where it comes out the nose too.
2. What i really want to know, is why was it green coming up?!?!
I've basically only had chorizo to eat today, and some doritos ... definitely nothing to turn it green.
Needless to say, I wont be eating it ever again.
Ugh...

"If it were that bad no one would have more than one kid"

EVERYONE has heard the saying when asked how bad labor pains are "If it were that bad no one would have more than one kid." Ok, well I'VE decided that this morning sickness business IS bad enough to not have anymore than one kid. I'm convinced nothing I experience throughout the rest of this pregnancy can be any worse than this.
Imagine the WORST hangover you've ever experienced, the kind that the slightest movement, change in lighting, loud sound or the slightest weird smell will send you praising the porcelain goddess - that my friends is what I feel like all day, until literally the second I fall asleep, but the SECOND I become conscious, not even open my eyes, it's right back to that feeling.
I bought peppermint candy after hearing that would help ease it.... no such luck; although I have the best smelling breath :) lol.

sigh - I hate this.

Conversation with belly no. 2

After my 9th trip to my bathroom today (peeing, again no vomiting)I got a huge wave a nauseous "Please, stop doing this. I give you food, I give you air, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU LIFE, please stop making me sick, it's just annoying now."

:)

So much for that

I guess I didn't find "my food". I've come to the conclusion that food will never be good again, lol. Hopefully its just for the first trimester. I have noticed that I haven't been as depressed lately, just stressed that I'm going to become circus fat lol. So I'm trying to be conscious of what I eat, but its hard because the only thing that doesnt make me sick to even think about is junk food. I'm just gonna try to swim often and the walking that we do helps. I just hope most of the weight will just go to my belly, and stay off of my arms and legs - oh my god, and my face LOL. I dont wanna look like a pregnant chipmunk - thanks.

My food!

So since I haven't had morning sickness (KNOCK ON WOOD) - I've just had constant nausea, in turn nothing sounds good, and whatever does; the second I eat it, I immediately feel like i'm going to vomit. Except for TODAY, I found "my food"; Spicy Italian from Subway - I feel like I'm gonna be there everyday now. :) I'm so excited, finally a food that tastes amazing and doesn't make me nauseas.
So now I'll be craving Spicy Italian and water/gatorade - which I normally HATE.

First blog

I’d like to post how far along I am, my due date and all that fun stuff - unfortunately I don’t know. LOL. I went to the docs on Tuesday 7.13.10 and not much happened except for yet another pregnancy test, that brings the total up to 5. Same outcome every time - positive.

So once I get all the information I’ll make sure I post it, as for now, the doc’s said my due date Feb 12, 2011, but I made up my last period date so the due date is off.

I’ve been lucky enough to not have any morning sickness, although I just got very nauseous and had a conversation with my belly it went like “Ok baby, lets make a deal, lets keep up this amazing no morning sickness thing we have going on, and I promise to …. never give you spit bath in public, or take you to Saturday school in pajama’s, but if I do they wont look like pajamas… great!”

We’ll see how that goes.